ProudlyOut

Feel the Love

Today is Valentine’s Day. My partner Lynn and I can tell each all day long how much we mean to each other, that we love each other, that we’re committed to each other for the long haul. But, the two words we can’t say in any legally binding way are “I do.”

I turn fifty next week and I’d really like to be able to get married to the person I love before we’re both too old to enjoy all the rights and responsibilities that come with legal marriage.

With the Presidential race dominating our collective consciousness, we need to watch out for stealth campaigns to make marriage equality a wedge issue in various states. Now, these may be states that will go to the Republican candidate anyway—like Arizona which is quite likely to vote for its favorite son, John McCain.

Lawmakers there want to put a constitutional ban on marriage equality on the ballot even after a similar measure was defeated by the voters in November of 2006. The new bill, however, isn’t an exact copy of the old. Arizona’s marriage equality opponents learned a thing or two from their earlier defeat. The proposal they’re floating for approval won’t ban the recognition of civil unions or domestic partnerships. Arizona voters in 2006 felt banning all three—marriage equality, civil unions and domestic partnerships—was just a bit to punitive. We’ll see if those same voters want to codify marriage as being purely in the heterosexual realm.

The same can’t be said about the straight only marriage advocates in Florida. After four years of collecting signatures, Florida4Marriage managed to get 649,346 signatures to put their Marriage Protection Amendment on November’s ballot. This is a bill that would not only ban lesbians and gay men from marrying but would also deny us domestic partnerships and civil unions. Basically—we’re worthless in the eyes of Florida’s Radical Christian Right.

However, if there was ever a state where marriage equality could become a wedge issue for the Presidential race it’s Florida. And as we all know, winning Florida is key to winning the White House.

But this being Valentine’s Day and all—why don’t we focus on the love.

In Maryland, marriage equality activists have been lobbying their state legislature furiously and now think they’re close to have the necessary votes to pass a bill. The first hearing on the legislation legalizing same-sex marriage is being held today, Valentine’s Day. I think that’s fitting.

Then there’s Marla Spivak a student at Choate Rosemary Hall, a private prep school in Connecticut. Karl Rove was there. Spivak and Rove had an animated dialogue which ended with the student invoking the Constitution saying its reference to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” supported marriage equality. Rove just blathered on about polygamy. Go Marla.

To make sure we really feel the love, my favorite non-presidential candidate, Al Gore, recently posted a video blog on his Current TV website. In just a few seconds, Gore made it clear he wasn’t going to get into the race—he came out in favor of marriage equality.

He said “I think that gay men and women ought to have the same rights as heterosexual men and women, to make contracts, to have hospital visiting rights, to join together in marriage, and I don’t understand why it is considered by some people to be a threat to heterosexual marriage to allow it by gays and lesbians.”

Gore went on to talk about the importance of promoting faithfulness and loyalty regardless of sexual orientation otherwise one is simply promoting promiscuity. He ended by saying “All the loyalty and love that two people feel for one another when they fall in love ought to be celebrated and encouraged, and shouldn’t be prevented by any form of discrimination in the law.”

Finally, a straight national political leader who is respected in the international arena has the courage to stop dancing around this issue. Unlike his plans for Social Security during the 2000 race, he doesn’t want to put us and our relationships in a lock box. Instead, he wants all of us to show our love and affection for our partners just the way he and Tipper showed all of us what they mean to each other on national TV when he accepted the Democratic nomination for President eight years ago.

With any luck, Al Gore might be able to do for marriage equality what he’s done for global warming.

Primary Choices

So the day every political junkie has been waiting for is just around the corner—Super Tuesday is this coming Tuesday, February 5th.

For those of us who have doggedly tracked this protracted presidential race, Super Tuesday is the mother lode of primaries. Democrats in 22 states and Republicans in 21 will choose their candidates.

This year-long roller coaster ride of democracy has treated us to a panoply of candidates that span the political spectrum. But as Super Tuesday approaches our choices have been slashed and for some hopes dashed.

New York’s Republicans are denied their favorite son because Rudy Guiliani denied good political advice. His Florida-only strategy backfired. Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee may or may not stick around after Tuesday but for all intents and purposes the Republican race is now between John McCain and Mitt Romney.

When the race started, my favorite Dem was John Edwards—I really don’t care how much he spends on a haircut. I liked what he had to say. I liked his dedication to his wife and family. I liked that as a southern Democrat he gave the Republicans agita. But as the race heated up, his candidacy didn’t.

So the burning question now is who am I going to vote for on Tuesday?

Well, I have never been more conflicted in my life. My internal flip flopping between Clinton and Obama makes Mitt Romney look like steady Eddie.

As far as lesbian and gay issues are concerned, I know we can count on either Clinton or Obama to do the right thing. With either of them in the White House, the eight years of homophobia that has become a trademark of the Bush presidency will end. Assuming that the Democrats maintain and expand their majorities in both the House and Senate, we’ll see either President Clinton or President Obama signing the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, the Matthew Shepard Act and the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Those events will be the beginning of what could be a golden age for LGBT issues in America.

But, what about Super Tuesday?

I like Hillary Clinton. She’s done a good job as one of our U.S. Senators. She’s intelligent, understands the intricacies of U.S. policy both abroad and at home and has a personal fortitude that has withstood political and personal firestorm after firestorm. She welcomes challenges. She’s not afraid of anything.

Letting down her guard just a bit in New Hampshire showed the country that there’s an emotional core to this woman. Opening up that window let us all know that she’s just like the rest of us—human.

It may surprise some of you that behind this hard, political exterior of mine there’s a political idealist defining my views.

After eight years of cynicism and lies, I really want to believe in our country again. You have no idea how deep this desire is. I’m one of those kids Caroline Kennedy spoke about in her recent op-ed in the New York Times. I really never knew her dad. My first real memory of the Kennedy presidency is the grainy black and white image on our family TV of the plane in Dallas that flew his body back to DC. I was five. My mother stood at the ironing board crying.

But it is the hope he instilled in my parents who handed it down to me that has informed my politics and my activism. JFK embodied an America of promise. He reached out his hand to us so that we could take the hands of others and make our nation a better place to live.

I want that back. I want to believe in America again.

The only candidate that has spoken to the idealist in me is Barack Obama.

His belief in change, his ability to bring people into the presidential process who usually stay home, his understanding of the real challenges that face our country inspires. But the pragmatic part of me is concerned about his experience factor. Are his years as an Illinois State Senator and a U.S. Senator enough?

Well let’s not forget that political office was W’s fall back position because he couldn’t make it in business. Obama on the other hand has spent his entire career organizing people for political change. Perhaps the experience issue is just a political ruse.

In just a few days I’ll have to make a decision. But, it won’t happen until the voting booth’s curtain is closed and I’m ready to pull the lever.

Standing Up

My family’s dinner was disrupted this past Friday night, January 18th by sirens and flashing lights.

There in the midst of our bucolic neighborhood, on a private road to what was once an estate in Menands, was a number of Troy police officers, with a number of Troy police cars—marked and unmarked--to match. The five of us sitting at the table—Alex, my son, Dale, his father, Gerri, his step-mom, Courtney, his girlfriend and I—went out the front door to see what was up.

We stopped dead in our tracks about 25 to 30 feet away from the action. It was from there that we witnessed a police brutality reality show.

The cops had chased two guys in a car through the streets of Troy, across the Hudson River, and into our road. By the time I was out there, the two suspects—Marquese Hill and Jamel DeWitt—were face down on the ground and were individually being beaten by two officers.

It was very film noir. It was dark and the scene was lit from behind by the lights from all the cars. The silhouette of one of the officers standing over one of the suspects repeatedly raising his baton high over his head and then crashing it down on the suspect’s body will stay with me for quite some time. So will the sound the baton made every time it hit the face-down body. It happened over and over again lasting for about 25-30 seconds.

We all started screaming for the cops to stop. When they finally did, two of the cops came running over to us and told us to “Shut Up,” “Get in the house,” “They had a gun and could have come into your house,” and “This is none of your business.” It certainly was our business, We stood our ground. They walked away saying we were “probably on the jury that let that killer go free in Troy” referring to a jury verdict last week that found a member of the 69ers motorcycle club not guilty of stabbing another person to death outside a bar.

By now Hill and DeWitt were cuffed and being put into police cars. That’s when one of the officers at the scene told them loudly enough for us to hear, “They’ll probably invite you over for Sunday brunch.”

I dug into my pocket, got out my cell phone and immediately called Rex Smith, the editor of the Times-Union at home. Needless to say, what followed next was a hailstorm of media coverage with my face plastered all over the TV, my voice on local radio and my name in our local papers.

What we witnessed was an injustice that is much graver than Hill’s parole violation or the police wanting to question DeWitt regarding a shooting.

The Troy police and the city’s mayor are calling the actions by the two officers a reasonable use of force. I call it a travesty. Once the two suspects were face down on the ground all the officers needed to do was put their knees in their backs and cuff them. Instead, the adrenaline rush of a chase in hot pursuit lead to excessive use of force.

There will be an internal affairs investigation but how effectively can the police police themselves?

This isn’t about me being soft on crime. This is about our police acting professionally and responsibly. If Hill and DeWitt committed crimes they should go through the legal process and do their time, if that’s what needs to happen. They don’t, however, deserve to be beaten.

Do the police who patrol the tri-cities’ inner-city neighborhoods have a challenge on their hands? Absolutely. But using violence to combat violence only works on the battlefield—and as we see in Iraq, that approach doesn’t work too well either.

Instead of approaching their jobs with suspicion and violence, why can’t the police take the opportunity to make real change in those neighborhoods by setting a positive example—acting professionally and responsibly would be a good first step. There’s a reason why folks in the inner city don’t trust the police—Friday night was just the tip of the iceberg of distrust.

I’m not saying the police shouldn’t do their job in tracking down criminals but not everyone who lives in inner-city neighborhoods commit crimes. All this incident has done is heightened the tension between Troy’s police and those who they are sworn to serve and protect.

I’ve received a lot of support from folks I know and some I don’t. A few have even called my actions a public service. I call it being a responsible citizen and taxpayer.

Here are the articles that have appeared in the Times Union, including an editorial calling for an independent investigation.

Download tu_11908_troy_police_accused_of_attack.pdf

Download tu_12008_troy_police_defend_use_of_force.pdf

Download tu_12108_lawyer_seeks_outside_probe_of_troy_police.pdf

Download tu_12108_soares_examining_complaint_troy_cops_beat_suspects.pdf

Download tu_12408_editorialinvestigating_the_police.pdf

Democracy in Action

Next month I’ll be 50.

I started paying attention to politics in the latter half of my first decade. I actually did my first literature drop when I was eight for Eugene Nickerson, the only Democrat to ever elected county executive in Nassau County until the beginning of this century. For a little kid, it was pretty exciting.

Fast forward four decades or so and I’m feeling really excited again. Not because Obama won or Clinton won but because democracy is winning.

For the first time in as long as I can remember, as a country, we actually have a choice. We finally don’t have to just pick between two evils. Each side of the aisle has at least three viable candidates for president.

That means we can get involved, ask questions, deliberate and exercise our ability to make our nation a better place to live. We can work for change. We can get fired up and ready to go. We can find our own voice.

We can get actually get excited about presidential politics.

Since this campaign began a good year ago, I thought we’d all be brain dead by now—fatigued by the constant droning of candidates saying they’re the best choice. Well, happily, I was wrong.

Starting earlier—while making the campaigns more expensive—gave us more of an opportunity to engage. We could actually do our part of retail politics—pick over the candidates like we pick over all the clothes at Macy’s in the after Christmas sales. The earlier start gave us time to explore their platforms, talk about it with our friends and family, create a national dialogue about the future of our country.

With the first two events of the political season behind us, we’ve gotten just a glimpse of how dynamic this race will be.

Iowa gave us Obama and Huckabee as the victors. Going into New Hampshire, it was pretty clear that John McCain was the resurgent Republican. He’s the only one who spent any real time there.

Huckabee may win a few more primaries down south but watch out for Guiliani in Florida and New York on Super Tuesday, February 5th. Fred Thompson is sleep walking through his campaign hoping his good ol’ boy actor-persona will win him a few delegates.

It’s great to see the Republicans in such disarray. From where I sit, their divergent primary field speaks to the lack of leadership in the White House. In typical fashion, the party in control has not developed a road map to keep their grip on power. We saw it in New York after 12 years of Mario Cuomo as Governor. We’re seeing again after eight years of the worst president in American history.

Not that I’m complaining. This administration’s political arrogance and lack of foresight have given the Democrats an open door to the White House—but then again, the Dems have a knack for losing elections that were their’s to win.

It was great fun, however, to watch the pundits and pollsters squirm Tuesday night. After predictions of another Obama win, perhaps at double digits, Hillary Clinton’s show of humility and humanity turned the tide for a unexpected upset. Chris Matthews looked stunned on MSNBC—it was great.

But this whole thing is very far from over. Next week, the Nevada caucuses and the S. Carolina primary will add another chapter to this roller coaster ride of a campaign. Despite the drubbing they took this week, the pundits and pollsters promoted by the media will continue to predict who the winners will be.
What Iowa and New Hampshire showed us, however, is that all the predictions in the world won’t deter a independent minded voter, affiliated with a party or not, from voting the way she or he wants to.

New Hampshire women saw themselves in Hillary. How many of us have been vilified for being too strong and smart and then sneered at for showing a bit of emotion.

Independent and young voters saw themselves in Obama. His message of change, his ability to rise above the petty politics of campaigning, his way with words—Obama is speaking to voters who would usually stay home. He’s energizing a new base—a new generation of activists that just may write the next chapter in our presidential politics.

In the months ahead, we’ll all be on this roller coaster—some candidates will climb to the top and stay there and some will come crashing down with a speed that defies expectations.

After five decades of watching and working, it’s great to know that democracy can still be so exciting.

Libby Post is the founding chair of the Empire State Pride Agenda and a political commentator on public radio, on the Web, and in print media. She can be reached at libby@proudlyout.com.

Starting Over

So Christmas is over and we’ve got a few more days before we can party again to ring in 2008.

Even though it started with such promise, we’re certainly in a rush to get 2007 over with. In New York, Day One pledged a new beginning. In DC, Democratic majorities in the House and Senate gave us hope. Despite the best intentions, entrenched power had its way—it was not to be interfered with.

In New York, Day One turned into Day Two, Day Three, Day Four . . . this Monday will be Day 365. Luckily, we get to start counting again on January 1--Day One, 2008.

Down in D.C., our hopes for real change were dashed. The Employment Non-Discrimination Act and the Matthew Shepard Act were taken off the Democrats’ legislative docket. Although, they insist positive legislative change for the LGBT community is still on their agenda.

What has happened in both the Empire State and the nation’s Capitol are clear indications that getting elected doesn’t mean you get the power everyone says comes with the office. You still need to do the heavy lifting of continuing to build your base, forging bipartisan working relationships and refining the art of the political.

With any luck and some real strategy, 2008 could be the year that changes business as usual to taking care of business.

Starting January 1, we’ll have 11 months and a few days to make sure the Republican stranglehold on the White House and all things DC is broken.

Change in the White House isn’t a gay issue. It’s a survival issue. If we want our country, our constitution, our conscience as a nation of people who believe in democracy to survive, then we must make sure democracy is restored.

For the past eight years, we’ve watched as the marionette president has had his strings pulled by Dick Cheney and Karl Rove. Like stealing candy from a baby, their cynical pronouncement of “Mission Accomplished” on the deck of an aircraft carrier later proved to steal the hope of millions of Americans who want to see their sons,  daughters, nieces, nephews and neighbors come home from the “War on Terror” alive and in one piece, physically and emotionally.

The lies this administration told in order to go to war are much worse than those of Richard Nixon. No one was killed because of Watergate yet Tricky Dick had to resign—otherwise impeachment was his future. Yet, the cynicism that invaded Washington, DC politics since 1972 has changed the national tolerance for deceit. Now, the president can get away with lying and the subsequent dying without having to be held accountable for his actions.

It is up to us, the electorate, to just say no to that deceit. We can no longer ignore it, make excuses for it or have a “that’s just the way things are” attitude about it.

It is up to us to bring our government, our nation back to practical politics. It is time to change the realpolitik of our government from one that favors the few to one that cares for many. After all, it’s much more practical to govern with the economic interests of taxpayers in mind rather than Halliburton’s stock price.

It’s much more practical to govern a nation where healthcare is a right rather than having the health care insurance industry profiteer at the deathbeds of our loved ones. And yes, it is even much more practical to protect everyone—regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity—from discrimination than to let the talents of millions of Americans wither on the vine.

When the century turned eight years ago, we rushed over the bridge to the 21st century with enthusiasm and hope. But seven years of Republican domination robbed us of the promise of a better life. Instead, we have a war without end, an economic downturn built on the backs of middle class Americans, and a health care system that rewards cost-cutting rather than compassionate care.

2008 gives us the opportunity to redefine the promise and reclaim the hope. This New Year gives us the opportunity to change the direction of our country. Our democracy is not dead. It is just crying for fresh air, for clean water, for an educated electorate who puts practicality over platitudes.

January 1, 2008 really is Day One. We’re starting over! After all, do overs are so 20th century.

Homos for the Holidays

Well, it’s that time of year again.

The weather outside is just about to be frightful. And, as far as I’m concerned, the shopping is never delightful.

But that doesn’t mean I’m the new Grinch or that my family bloodline includes Ebeneezer Scrooge. It’s just that when I do shop, I tend to do it from the comfort of my den with my trusty laptop at the ready and my overburdened credit card nearby.

Whether or not you’re consumed with consumerism at this time of year, the one thing we can all agree on is that it’s all about giving.

With our son turning 22 next week and only one toddler in our immediate family configuration, the challenge of what to give the adults in my family is never easily answered. We’re all folks, who by and large, don’t really need anything—we’ve all got good jobs, roofs over our heads, not really wanting for anything that is within our purchasing capacity. Buying a 54” flat screen or putting a big red bow on a new car is really on the outside of our giving range.

So instead of buying a few more CDs or another piece of Fiestaware to round out a collection, the adults in our family have decided to make charitable gifts in honor of one another. It’s a much better investment of our holiday cheer than say a crystal bowl that ends up at the back of the closet.

Overall, charitable giving has always been high on our list, and not just at the holiday season—although we do get all those direct mails asks at this time of year because it works. People are in a giving mood; so, we also give money.

The organization that gets our money at this time of year is the Rainbow World Fund (www.rainbowfund.org). The brainchild of San Francisco-based psychiatric social worker Jeff Cotter, Rainbow World Fund is a relief organization that bundles LGBT philanthropic giving for humanitarian projects throughout the world.

When I spoke with Cotter, he told me that after being a social worker for about 15 years he wasn’t fulfilled professionally. "I wanted to do something I had never done before. I wanted to have a positive impact on the planet and help people," he told me in a phone interview. "I put those ideas out to the universe and let them go." A few months later, Cotter said, his own inner voice told him to start a world relief agency based in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.

That Cotter listened to that inner voice has been a gift that has kept on giving to those in need throughout the world since 2000. RWF has raised millions, not hundreds of millions, just millions—but that money has had a profound impact because Cotter uses it to leverage in-kind contributions that have even greater economic and humanitarian value.

Making its mark on humanitarian relief, RWF has partnered with America’s Second Harvest to get food to the folks who lost everything in the devastations of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. This past July, RWF made its third humanitarian trip to Guatemala where 15 volunteers delivered 1,650 pounds of medical and school supplies valued at a quarter of a million dollars. RWF also partners with AfriCare to fund HIV/AIDS education in rural South Africa and Adopt-a-Minefield to fund minefield clearance in Cambodia.

What’s great about Rainbow World Fund is that unlike most international relief agencies, RWF has no real administrative overhead. Everyone—and I mean everyone—volunteer their time. 92.3 percent of the money raised goes directly to humanitarian aid, 2.3 percent goes to education and only 5.4 percent goes to administrative and fund raising costs. 5.4 percent is astounding when the non-profit industry standard for admin costs usually hovers at 15.

Through its work, RWF is also presenting the LGBT community to the world. "Our first priority is to help those who need it, but a by-product is changing how people see the LGBT community," said Cotter. "The Fund is a way of putting our highest values - love, kindness, and compassion - to work, and of providing a platform for our concern and caring to be seen and heard around the world."

So, if you’re looking to be a good Homo for the Holidays or a great friend of one, start by going to www.rainbowfund.org. It could very well be the most fulfilling online experience of the holiday season!

Childhood Dreams

When I was in high school, one of my dreams was to live on the banks of the Hudson River right where the Tappan Zee Bridge begins its span from Rockland to Westchester County and zip my way into Manhattan to work at the United Nations.

I was really involved in Model UN all throughout high school. I loved being assigned a country, as long as it wasn’t ours, researching the nation’s policies and then being a delegate in one of the UN’s myriad deliberative bodies. It was fun. I learned a lot. And, my parents paid for it every step of the way because it was a “learning experience.”

Well, like many high school dreams, my desire to work at the UN faded over time as I realized that no matter how I cut it, I’d end up having to represent the United States in some way. While I love my country, I don’t love its policies--especially those of the foreign ilk.

I knew that when I came out in my freshman year of college, being open about my sexuality and being a member of the Foreign Service wouldn’t necessarily jive—the “in my hand I have a list” witch hunt of Senator Joseph McCarthy whose goal it was to root out all homosexuals and communists from the State Department was part of my consciousness growing up. I may have not put all the pieces of my life together at 18 but I certainly knew which mountains were harder to climb.

Michael Guest, our country’s former Ambassador to Romania, didn’t get the same memo about mountain climbing as I did. I don’t know how long Guest was out as a gay man during his 26 years in the Department of State’s Foreign Service but he made headlines this week when he resigned in protest.

He wasn’t protesting our government’s foreign policy. No, he resigned from a career he loved in order to protest the rules and regulations regarding same-sex partners of Foreign Service officers.

At his retirement ceremony on November 20th, standing just a few steps from Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice’s office, he told the 75 senior officials who gathered to wish him well, “I’ve felt compelled to choose between obligations to my partner, who is my family, and service to my country. That anyone should have to make that choice is a stain on the secretary’s leadership, and a shame for this institution and our country.”

While things have changed for gays and lesbians in the State Department since McCarthy’s 1950’s witch hunts, the official reception their partners receive is anything but welcoming.

If you’re one of the 350 partners of a gay or lesbian Foreign Service official and you’d like to keep your family together when your diplomat has been assigned to a foreign country, you have to pay your own way to get there. You’re not entitled to any medical care, you don’t get trained on how to spot terrorists or speak the language of the country you’re going to, you don’t get a diplomatic passport and you have to pay to be evacuated when the Foreign Service decides that is the prudent course of action to take in a country where unrest is the rule rather than the exception.

If you’re the heterosexual husband or wife of a Foreign Service official you can take all that for granted. If you’re a child of a Foreign Service official, you can take all that for granted. If you’re the pet of a Foreign Service official, the State Department will pay your way to and from your Master’s destination!

Guest, who for the past several years has helmed the management and leadership school at the State Department’s Foreign Service Institute, lobbied his colleagues and higher ups for equal treatment. In 2006, he even won the annual “Constructive Dissent” award from the American Foreign Service Association for his steadfast commitment to changing the married couples-only regulations.

Knowing that he would, once again, soon be posted overseas, he wrote directly to the Secretary of State. It seems one stroke of her pen could clean up this whole mess. Not surprisingly, Rice never wrote back, never took action, never even said good bye.

Michael Guest’s childhood dreams of exploring the world and making it a better place brought him to the State Department. Equal treatment for lesbians and gays and their partners in the Foreign Service, however, is still just something to dream about.

A Legacy Lost

It seems that George Bush is finally waking up. What he thought was going to be a legacy built on “mission accomplished” is instead a waking nightmare born of a country demolished.

He’s bucking for a Nobel Peace Prize by trying to revive a U.S.-led Middle East peace process that has been all but abandoned since the U.S. Supreme Court gave W. the Oval Office. Now he’s trying to get the Israelis and Palestinians to forge a peace treaty in time to make the Republicans look better on Election Day 2008. With Rove gone, I’m not sure who is giving George advice. But, placing his Peace Prize hopes on a political quagmire as impossible to navigate as the one he created in Iraq is a little like rearranging furniture on the Titanic.

I’d love for the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to be resolved. But, if George wants a meaningful legacy by actually accomplishing something all he needs to do is turn his attention to the millions of people living in his own country who are without rights, who are victims of hate crimes, who have families that are considered second class.

All George needs to do is pro-actively turn his attention to his country’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. By doing so, he would create a legacy that all commanders in chief desire—a legacy built on actions that may at first be seen as controversial but in the end were considered by the majority of the country as the absolute right thing to do.

Right off the bat, George could make history by telling both houses of Congress to pull The Matthew Shepard Act, also known as the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act, out of a defense reauthorization package and to send the bill to his desk as a stand alone piece because he was going to sign it into law.

The bill is needed more than ever. Earlier this month, the Federal Bureau of Investigation released its 2006 Hate Crime Statistics. The findings are frightening—hate crimes of all kinds increased eight percent last year. Those committed based on sexual orientation are the third most common—right behind race and religion—comprising 16 percent of all hate crimes. That’s an increase of two percent from 2005.

The Matthew Shepard Act only needs George’s signature in order to expand the current law to include hate crimes based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

This weekend, George could walk out on the National Mall and take in the enormity of the 12,000 U.S. flags that will be placed there by a coalition of national LGBT organizations. The flags are a tribute to the 12,000 LGBT service personnel who have been thrown out of the armed forces since the failed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy has gone into effect—the 14th anniversary of which is tomorrow, Friday, November 30th. George could then call on Congress to repeal the bill and do all he can to make it happen.

Next, a simple phone call to openly gay Congressman Barney Frank. “Barney,” George would say, “Let’s put gender identity back into the Employment Non-Discrimination Act—otherwise I won’t sign it.” Then George would act like a real commander in chief and send his army of White House lobbyists to the hill to make sure the bill makes its way through the House and Senate and lands on his desk.

There are also simple things that George could do all by himself. He could issue his own executive order banning discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in the federal workforce and tell Scott Bloch, the right wing henchman and White House Special Counsel, to stop his war against equal protection for LGBT federal workers.

George could take a cue from a great many Fortune 500 companies and with a stroke of his pen extend full domestic partner benefits, including health care and all the other rights and responsibilities granted to straight, married federal employees, to their LGBT counterparts.

George only has a little over 13 months left to retool his reputation as the absolute worst President in our history. Only doing something cutting edge, acting outside his constrained box, taking a risk that will actually be good for the country can redefine his presidency. In 50 years, being known as the most gay-friendly president would actually help his biographers reinterpret his tenure—look what making trips to China and the former Soviet Union did for Nixon!

Thanks for the Day

I don’t know about you but Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays.

It just evokes great memories. It was one of the only meals my mother cooked really well. She’d start early in the morning and by noon the house was filled with great smells. We didn’t do the 3 p.m. Thanksgiving Day dinner. We ate around 6 just like we always did.

Of course, the meal was gone in about 45 minutes—turkey, dressing, her special green beans (right out of a can), sweet potatoes and dessert which was always either coconut custard or pumpkin pie with Cool Whip.

OK, so I was a child of depression era parents whose idea of a middle class life was a house on Long Island with plastic slip covers on the furniture and a dishwasher. I didn’t fare too badly though. They sent both my brother and I to college—something neither of them did—and were quite proud when we both achieved our respective graduate degrees.

Thanksgiving was always the one holiday that the whole family got together—all four of us. There were various visitors in different years but the constant, until my dad died, was all four of us around our grand dining room table that was only used for special occasions.

Now that I’m a parent, all grown up approaching 50, in a committed relationship Thanksgiving Day Dinner is on me. Well, actually, it’s on Lynn. I don’t cook—but I can clean a kitchen faster than most.

What’s important is that the day is still all about family—but the one we define for ourselves. Alex, our son, is home from college. His dad and step-mom would usually be with us but a bit of surgery is keeping them close to home. My best friend from first grade, her partner and their son will be driving up from Jersey to join us.

I know how lucky I am to have this family of mine. The ability to define one’s family is a relatively recent phenomenon although the legal protections that come with the standard heterosexual family unit largely escape the collective grasp of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.

I’ve written ad nauseum about the myriad of rights and privileges lesbian and gay couples are denied on both the state and national levels. Domestic partnerships and civil unions just don’t cut the mustard. The civil union experiment in New Jersey bares this out. The new law was passed with the idea of providing the same rights to lesbian and gay couples as to straight ones. Over and over, we’re hearing the horror stories of folks being denied what the law says they should get.

Governor Jon Corzine had to intervene to get UPS to do the right thing. The federal courts are involved in the case of two lesbian couples who wanted to use a pavilion on the beach at Ocean Grove but were denied access because the Methodist Church that owns it doesn’t believe in same-sex marriage. The New Jersey Civil Union Review Commission held a hearing recently and heard from close to 100 couples about how the civil unions law is not working—even to the point where partners were having difficulty visiting one another in a hospital.

If a ballot measure passes in Arkansas, only married heterosexual couples will be able to foster or adopt children. Here we are wanting to be parents, hoping to provide loving, stable homes to kids who need them and the state wants to deny us because our love isn’t the right type.

Unfortunately, Arkansas isn’t alone. Florida, Utah and Mississippi actually do practice equal opportunity discrimination—only married couples are allowed to adopt or become foster parents.

Wouldn’t it be better for kids in the foster care system to be in a loving home on Thanksgiving, rather than in a setting that may be cold and institutional? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if when we sit at our Thanksgiving Day table with our family that, as lesbian and gay couples, we knew we had legal protections? Wouldn’t it be great if the LGBT community could really give thanks for living in a country that respects us and values us as citizens?

But, I’m not about to let the powers that be in DC define who I am—a professional, a parent, a partner and a pundit who wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving!

What a Difference a Day Makes

I wouldn’t want to be a Republican right now.

Not that I ever would be but the results of Tuesday’s elections does not leave the GOP with a lot to celebrate.

Right here in Albany, one of its Red Rock Republican suburbs, Colonie, has broken 80 years of one party rule by electing a majority of Democrats to its town council. As of press time, the results of the town supervisor’s race are still up in the air. The Democratic challenger has a slim lead over the long-time Republican incumbent but the count won’t be final until all the absentee ballots tallied.

In Virginia, after a decade of total dominance, the Republicans lost control of the State Senate giving Democratic Governor Tim Kaine at least one house with which he can work. This also sets the stage for next year’s U.S. Senate race where analysts are now considering Virginia a battleground state.

Gay-baiting auto-calls from the baby boomer crooner Pat Boone did not win the day for Ernie Fletcher, Kentucky’s first Republican Governor in over thirty years. Fletcher’s one-term tenure was marked with scandal and homophobia—much like his campaign. Not even the smooth voice of Boone who told voters that the Democratic candidate, former Lt. Governor Martin Bashear, would turn the Blue Grass State into “another San Francisco” scared the voters into keeping Fletcher in office.

And then there were those 31 gay candidates, endorsed by the Victory Fund, who got elected across the country. We now have an openly gay mayor, Democrat Craig Covey, in Ferndale, just outside of Detroit, MI, where Affirmations, the area’s LGBT services center recently moved into a new multi-million facility. The Victory Fund is the LGBT community’s national political action organization that trains candidates and puts its money where its mouth is by raising funds for their endorsed candidates. Of the 71 endorsements this year, the 31 who were successful on Tuesday join 10 who were elected throughout the country earlier in the year.

Among the stand-outs of those LGBT candidates are Democrats Michelle Bruce, an openly transgender incumbent on the Riverdale, GA City Council who was the top vote getter and will now advance to a runoff election and Lydia Lavelle who became the seventh openly LGBT candidate in North Carolina to win office by taking a seat on the Carrboro Board of Alderman.

But Michelle and Lydia aren’t the only ones to take their rightful place in the South. There’s Republican Brian Bates from Georgia. He won a seat on the Doraville City Council and is the first openly gay Republican to win a seat in that state.

Now, I know that all these LGBT elected officials give the top of the GOP a big headache but having one of their own who is also one of our own get elected must make for a splitting migraine. While the Republican talk about a “big tent” it’s hard to feel welcome when the rhetoric is always so homophobic. Perhaps Brian will be able to bring a little humanity to his party because the compassionate conservatism of George Bush certainly hasn’t.

It seems as if we may be heading into a perfect storm of change in this country. People are fed up with Bush and the war. Gas is now over $3 a gallon and the housing market is in a free fall. Health care is still a privilege, not a right. Gay bashing politics just ain’t what it used to be as evidenced by Wednesday’s Congressional vote of 235-184 to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. What’s a Republican to do?

Well, it might be time to read the handwriting on the wall and recognize that it’s no longer business as usual. It’s time to pay attention to the trends.

When it comes to the mountain, Midwest and southern states—what pundits consider the red Republican ones—folks running for office from either party need to recognize that the number of LGBT couples moving into their neighborhood is increasing at what some may consider “an alarming rate.”

According to a new study from the Williams Institute out of the UCLA Law School, the number of couples who identify as same-sex has quadrupled to nearly 780,000 since 1990. Now, conventional wisdom would lead one to think that New York and California would see the biggest increase.

That couldn’t be farther from the truth. We’re moving to the states that have passed amendments to ban same-sex marriage. And what state has the largest increase? Utah.

Perhaps as Gary Gates, the study’s author put it, we need to get ready for some “purple states.” And what a lovely color it is.